You've been together for years.
You've invested time, money, energy, love, and a frankly unreasonable amount of emotional labour.
You've weathered the difficult seasons. You've made sacrifices. You've told yourself things will get better.
And now?
You're not entirely sure you want to be here anymore.
But leaving feels impossible because of everything you've already invested.
Welcome to the sunk-cost situationship. 💔
And yes, we're talking about your business.
What is the sunk cost fallacy in business?
The sunk cost fallacy is our tendency to continue investing in something because of what we've already put into it, even when continuing may no longer be the best decision.
In business, that investment might include:
👉🏻 Five years building a brand.
👉🏻 Thousands of dollars spent on coaching, courses and certifications.
👉🏻 Countless hours creating offers, content and resources.
👉🏻 Relationships with customers, collaborators and communities.
👉🏻 The emotional investment of building something from absolutely nothing.
And when you start questioning whether you still want this business, all those investments come rushing back.
But I've worked so hard.
I've spent so much money.
What if I walk away just before it finally works?
So you stay.
Not necessarily because you love the business you're running, but because you can't bear the thought of everything you've invested being for nothing.
Here's what I want you to understand:
Your past investment tells you what something has cost you. It doesn't tell you what you should do next.
When your business becomes a situationship
Let's talk about the relationship itself.
I believe you and your business are two separate identities in a relationship.
You are the human being. You have your own desires, values, needs and ambitions.
Your business has its own identity, offers, commitments, systems and expectations.
And just like any relationship, the dynamic between you can change.
Maybe your business is asking you to show up consistently, promote your offers, serve your customers and commit to the future you've planned together.
But you're not really feeling it anymore.
You're keeping things casual.
You're avoiding difficult conversations.
You're doing just enough to maintain the relationship without wholeheartedly committing to it.
You're in a situationship with your own business. 👀
And perhaps the most uncomfortable part is that you're not sure whether you want to recommit or break up.
Why entrepreneurs struggle to let go
Here's where the sunk cost fallacy and the situationship collide.
You've invested so much in building this business that changing direction feels like admitting failure.
So you keep doing the same things, hoping eventually they'll deliver the results you originally wanted.
But what if those results aren't even what you want anymore?
What if the person who started this business five years ago had completely different priorities from the person reading this today?
What if the business isn't broken?
What if the relationship agreement is simply outdated?
This is why I believe we need to separate our personal identity from our business identity.
You are allowed to evolve without treating every business decision as a judgement on who you are.
And you're allowed to change your business without invalidating everything that came before it.
Breaking up doesn't have to mean burning everything down
This is the part I really want entrepreneurs to hear.
Realising that your current business no longer fits doesn't automatically mean closing everything and starting from zero.
You have options.
You might renegotiate the relationship by changing your working hours, commitments or boundaries.
You might reinvent your offers, business model or delivery methods.
You might repurpose intellectual property you've already created, sell resources or transition into a different way of working.
You might even decide that the relationship has run its course.
And yes, sometimes that means building something entirely different.
But your experience, skills, relationships and lessons don't disappear because you change direction.
Starting over doesn't have to mean starting from scratch.
Four possible relationship statuses with your business
Inside Business Breakup Counselling, I use a Business Breakup Audit to help entrepreneurs understand where they stand.
There are four possible outcomes:
1. Still in love
You love the business you're building and want to keep investing in the relationship.
Wonderful. Keep going.
2. Ready to renegotiate
You still want the relationship, but the current arrangement isn't working.
Something needs to change.
3. Ready for reinvention
You can see potential in what you've built, but you need a different version of the business to move forward.
It's time for a Business Breakover.
4. Ready to break up
You've already mentally packed your bags.
Now you need to work out what leaving looks like and how to move forward.
None of these outcomes makes you a better or worse entrepreneur.
They're simply different starting points for making an intentional decision. A Business Breakover is the best place to figure that out.
The question isn't what you've invested. It's what you want now.
If you've been stuck in your own sunk-cost situationship, I want you to ask yourself something:
If I were starting today, knowing everything I know now, would I choose to build this business in the same way?
You don't need to answer immediately.
But notice what comes up.
Because sometimes we feel the disconnect long before we're ready to acknowledge it.
And sometimes making the decision to change the relationship is the turning point that allows us to move forward.
You don't owe your past self a lifetime commitment to a business that no longer fits.
You owe your future self the opportunity to choose.
Ready for a little Business Breakup Counselling?
🎙️ Listen to Session 2: The Sunk-Cost Situationship on the Business Breakup Counselling podcast, or watch the full session on YouTube.
Want to know where you stand in your business relationship?
Join Starting Over Society and explore the Business Breakup Audit and 30-Day Business Breakup Plan.
And if you're ready for something deeper, explore The Business Breakover, my transformation experience for entrepreneurs ready to start over without starting from scratch.
Because sometimes the most loving thing you can do for your business is admit that the relationship needs to change. 💔💋